Random Thoughts as I Approach the Big 4-0

So, the big date is fast approaching.  The big 4-0…

Me on the left, with my friend Fran, celebrating our 40th birthdays by swimming a mile in September

A new look

And on my 40th birthday, I will also relaunch this website.

My Year of Fitness was designed to be longer than a year.  It has served me well.  I created a place where I could publish my training thoughts, write about things that interested me, and I followed a structure and pattern that helped me to get into the groove of writing, blogging, whatever you wish to call what I’m doing here…

But the Year is over.  And with it I have learned so much about my self, what I am capable of, and how easy it is to buy into ones own feeling of limits.  So I am about to relaunch my website, in conjunction with my 40th birthday…

A re-think.

With the relaunch of the site I have been doing a lot of thinking.  Re-thinking.  And considering.  Why I am blogging, and how the blog is or isn’t suiting me.

To be honest, I adore the creative outlet that writing is giving to me.  Although I am not writing fiction, I am charting my story.  The things that interest me, that make me think, my thoughts and opinions, what I eat, you name it.  The things that make me me.

Along this line, I’ve started to question the whole structure of my blog.  Sure, the regular schedule has helped me to, well, stay regular.  It has been my Metamucil.  If it’s Monday I know to write about training or athletics or the things that relate to training with challenges.  Tuesday is fitness tip day.  Wednesday is when I write about my own and other’s charity fundraising.  Thursday is my day for random thoughts.  And Friday is food. 

But I have started to feel a bit penned in by this schedule. 

For those that know me, this is not surprising.  I like schedules, they help me to keep things in balance and in check.  But I also have a tendency to just chuck them out the window if they have outlived their useful life.

So, almost in a bid to validate what I was thinking, I threw a question out to Twitter.  To those who blog.  I asked if keeping to a rigid schedule was a help to readers, and bloggers, or if it was just ok to do without.  Carla (aka MizFit)  sent me back a reply, basically saying: Do it if it is useful to YOU.

And you know what?  The schedule HAS BEEN useful.  But it is no longer.  The medicine has worked, the habits have formed.  I don’t need it anymore.  So as I approach the big 4-0, the schedule is going out the door.  Welcome to a better use of categories and tags and titles!

What else is going on…

As I approach 40 I have also taken stock.  In particular, of the amount of alcohol I have been consuming.  I do not hide the fact that I love fine wine.  In fact, I spoil myself and get an irregular delivery from a wine club, so that I can keep on tasting and learning about new wines.  I love it.

During triathlon season, my body basically rejected wine.  My training intensity was high, drinking in the evenings just didn’t taste right to me.  So I didn’t.  I stopped my wine club deliveries, and I was at about 5 units a week, mostly on Saturdays or Sundays, post a hard training day or race, often a delicious bloody mary from my favourite local restaurant, Hawksmoor .

But after London Triathlon in August, when we went on holiday in August, I slipped back into the “wine with dinner” mode.  No big deal, it was holiday.  Then we returned to London, and after a hectic September and three big events, it was back to wine with meals all through October.

I’ve been working with Christine Lynch , the Holisticguru , to get a handle on my eating and drinking patterns, to build my self-awareness, and to think through the choices and decisions I am making in order to seek more balance in the way that I live.  I thought that doing an alcohol journal for a two week period would be useful, to highlight just how different my “in training” and “off season” drinking patterns were.

Wow was I surprised.  I am at about 10 to 12 units at the moment – about double my summertime levels.  With that, it becomes completely clear why the scales read a bit higher – my body is holding onto water, the wine is just empty calorie intake.  Suddenly I see clearer.  Awareness is liberating!

Now, there is nothing wrong with enjoying a bit of alcohol, but I think it is important to understand how you use it, and how it impacts you.  For one, I know that I perform worse if I drink the night before a big event – be it a meeting, or training session.  I also know the reasons why I drink – they have very little to do with coping with situations or becoming more social (both of which you often read about as reasons why people drink).  Rather, I really enjoy the pairing of food and drink.  I really enjoy the taste and variety of good wine.  I like learning about new flavours and regions.  I drink for enjoyment and with meals.  Rarely a glass on its own – unless it is a celebration or a business drink with colleagues.  And always with lots of water.

Through my journalling I am now a bit more aware how my behaviour has changed since September.  And I made a choice, with Christine’s help – the choice to put an end date on this.

Stating the Obvious

It sounds totally obvious, but my end date, for enjoying double my wine consumption, will be after my birthday.  Really, why curtail at the point when I am about to go out and enjoy myself?

Christine and I talked about boundaries and permissions.  The conclusion?  It is just as important to give yourself space to enjoy and celebrate, as it is to focus on achieving results.

So, I’m going to celebrate the fact that I turn 40.  Without feeling bound by rules, self expectations, or moderating voices.  You only hit life milestones ones, and from what everyone tells me, including my gynaecologist who sternly looked me in the eye and said “you know, 40 is not the same as 38”, 40 is a milestone…

But what then?

From then, my thoughts will once again turn to my health and fitness.  I have quite a full calendar for 2011 – the type of calendar that scares me because it will really push my limits.

I know that I need to work on my cycling.  To get me over this mental block, I have signed up for two events.

Strong Like Bull Endurance Training Camp

This camp is hardcore.  It is run by pro triathlete John Hirsch , who is a complete badass.  As a side bar, I met John via Twitter, and he named my bike.  After following him for about two triathlon seasons, I decided that I would take John up on his idea of coming along to SLB in 2011.  I want to learn from him and his Crew – a group of athletes who are totally and utterly focused on sport.  I want to push myself.  I will throw myself into the deep end, as I have never done anything like this before, to see what I am made of.  It terrifies me.  It excites me.  Just thinking about 10 days riding mountains in Spain makes my heart race because, quite honestly, I don’t know if I can.  But the only way I can discover if I can do something, the only way to know that you *can* do something, is to try and give it a go.  So that is what I am doing, in February.

SLB is great preparation for the second major cycling goal I have in my calendar…

The Lonestar MS150 Houston to Austin Ride

I signed up for the MS150 after watching a great friend and former colleague of mine, Greg, do this for many years.  Since I started triathlon in 2007 Greg has suggested this to me as something I might like to do.  And finally, when registration rolled around on October 20th, I hit the button.

Riding 300km over a weekend is no joke.  The notorious hills and wind scare me.  But at the same time, this will keep me training through the winter.

I guess I had better get some riding partners and some cold weather riding gear!

I’ve also signed up for one big swim…

The Great Bay Swim – The Chesapeake Bay Swim 4.4 mile challenge

At this time last year, I had never swum more than about 800m in a pool.  But slowly and steadily in 2009/2010, I increased my distance.  I participating in the fantastic #winterswim challenge last winter, which gave me the confidence to go long.  I did two 5k swims in 2010, including the open water Lakeside Swimfest .  And when I decided to sign up for the Swimfest 5k, my friend Jon remarked that the swim could serve as a Bay Swim qualifier for both of us.

Being born in Washington DC and spending the first part of my life near the shores of the Chesapeake Bay, the idea of swimming across it appealed.  So I threw my name into the ballot, confident that should I be selected, and if I could keep my joints (elbows and shoulders) healthy and stable, the distance would be do-able.  Last week my name was chosen.  And thus my entry in this endurance event sealed.

Gulp.

Whither triathlon? NO!

I’m still figuring out my triathlon schedule for 2011.  Given the BIG RIDE and BIG SWIM that are now confirmed in my calendar, I am talking with Coach T after my birthday to sort out the rest of my calendar, to have a face the music talk about the training that 2011 will require.

Before I knew if I would be entering these events, we were looking at 5 triathlons in 2011, probably 2 Olympic distance events, and 3 sprints.  This may still be the case.  And we have been considering my participation in the Paratriathlon Series of events in the UK.  I am still not sure how my classification will be treated, and if I will be categorised as an arms only impairment or full body impairment.  So I am not sure how to approach the paratri calendar.  These are the types of discussions to be had with Coach T, and British Triathlon, by the end of November.

I haven’t taken my eye off my triathlon goals: to complete an Olympic distance triathlon in 3 hours 30 minutes, to crack the 2 hour mark for a sprint distance triathlon, and to feel comfortable running 10k.  These would be huge improvements for me, but ones I believe are within my grasp with focused training.

The Big 4-0

So my birthday fast approaches.  Lots of changes, but still regardless of the number or the URL, you’ll still find me blogging away, writing about my journey, and celebrating the small things.  40 brings with it the start of a year of big goals and high hopes…

But for now, let the celebrations commence!