On Tuesday I had a whirlwind day – up early, to Paris for a lunch meeting, back, gym to get in a quick run, home to have a quick chat about some home improvement things, then off to the cinema. One of those days when life seems to go at a full-speed-ahead pace, with just enough time to focus on the here-and-now.
~ 1 ~
The whirlwind nature of my day made me think back to 2000, the height of the dot-com boom. I was working at a large multinational corporation, in our e-division. As a part of the culture shift in our division, to push for innovation and new thinking, our head of human resources ran a series of workshops. One of the key slogans that became an office mantra was “Be Here Now”.
Back then, Blackberries were the thing. Everyone was constantly checking their Blackberry, diverting their attention from the person in front of them in order to check on work, to check on progress. The pace was fast, and it seemed like nothing could wait. Our HR director wanted us all to remember to respect each other, above all else. To put our focus on the now, to always look at the person in front of us, to connect to REAL LIFE FIRST. To be here now.
~ 2 ~
Tuesday morning I headed to Paris for a lunch meeting. The past months have been all consuming at work. To manage the sense that I am drowning in work, I am trying to focus on the NOW, rather than the WHAT NEXT.
As a part of looking at the NOW I decided to have another go at the #100happydays project. Basically, the project is a commitment to take a photo a day for 100 days of things that make you happy – to stop and make the time to do so. I choose to interpret this project as more than a focus on things that make me happy, but to focus on things for which I am grateful.
So back to Tuesday. As we exit the metro in the business district of Paris we have to walk past a carousel. I’ve always wanted to jump on, in the middle of the day, just to have a laugh and remember what it felt like to be a carefree kid. And I especially want to do this when I feel overwhelmed with work. But seeing as we were on a tight schedule, I decided to just stop and take a picture, to take a moment. To appreciate what was in front of me, to make the time to admire and smile.
Someday on one of these trips I will ride that carousel. Someday.
~ 3 ~
When I got back to London Tuesday late afternoon I managed to squeeze in a run on the Curve treadmill at my local gym.
Me and running are still having a tumultuous relationship. My left knee is distinctly not liking running, with hints of 2013 always at the edge of both my thinking and in the day-to-day aches I experience while training. At the start of the year I decided that if I was going to run on a treadmill, it would be either the Alter-G antigravity treadmill, for rehab purposes, or the Curve.
The Curve forces you to focus on the NOW when running. There is no zoning out. For me anyway it is impossible. As there is no motor, the belt moves according to how you run. Meaning you have to pay attention. Keep the focus on where you are, how high up the front of the treadmill you are, how fast your leg turnover is, pay attention to your stride length and body position. It is a “take-no-prisoners” approach to treadmill running. The kind that had the guy next to me moaning for his entire run. (I’m not kidding – and trust me I wish I was it was really distracting!)
I have been using the Curve to practice my run-walk strategy which I will use again in triathlon this season. I feel relatively “non-run-fit” at the moment, but that’s ok. I know I can manage 5k with run-walk. I am a bit worried how my knee will cope, about how I will recover, about the fact that I have my first race of 2014 in about 10 days and I do not feel prepared.
But I keep reminding myself – focus on the NOW. Focus on the HAPPINESS. And be GRATEFUL. And everything else will slot into place.
~ 4 ~
Later Tuesday night I went to the cinema with my French teacher. We saw the film “Loin du Vietnam” (Far from Vietnam), a 1967 documentary about the protest movement made by French cinematographer Chris Marker.
It has been a long time since I have gone to a film for the sake of challenging my perceptions. I knew that THIS FILM would do just that. I know that the French see the Vietnam War differently, based on their own colonial experiences, their long history with the country.
But what I did not expect was how the film would make me feel.
I was nostalgic. I found myself remembering my first trip to Vietnam in 1994. And I remembered the film screenings I used to go to when I lived in Chicago in the summer of 1996. I remembered spending hours researching and preparing my final oral briefing for my master’s degree – a Political and Economic Risk Assessment of Vietnam.
I was also surprised by how current the topic seemed:
“We live in a society that has pushed very far its capacity to hide its own goals, its own dizzy excesses and above all its own violences.” ~ Chris Marker
For the past 10 years I have been discussing conflict and human nature with my French teacher, listening to French news and discussing world topics. And here we were, watching a film made in 1967 where the same countries and conflicts were being discussed – Sudan, the Middle East, Yemen. It wasn’t just the geography of conflict that seemed current – it was the commentary. Be it the social protest movements (the 1967 protest scenes reminded me of the Occupy and Uncut protests), the commentary on the immediacy of the media and reporting (remarks about television made me think of today and Twitter and online reporting)…
Marker implored the viewer to be present and mindful, to confront truth. To be in the NOW. And the film gave me a great context to think about the NOW, too.
~ 5 ~
Speaking of context… Back in April I joined an online game – TAG (Teams Achieving Goals).
I had no idea what TAG was going to be about when I signed up. Basically I signed up because a friend kept posting on Facebook about how this organisation called Legacy X had changed her life. She issued a challenge—can you commit to something for four weeks? And I thought “yes I can.”
In reality, I wasn’t sure that I could. I signed up for TAG to prove to myself that I could commit to something for four weeks, to see an online challenge through to completion.
I learned a lot in TAG. I got to know my teammates, their struggles and their strengths. We pulled together. We committed. And we tied for first place.
Equally I focused a lot on myself. On the things I am good at doing. On the things I struggle with. And on the things I want to change. That was the purpose of TAG – to confront what makes you uncomfortable.
The one thing I realised is that the clutter around me – be it physical clutter, or the clutter in my mind, or the clutter of my online life – is a huge distraction for me. I get diverted. I lose focus. I stop focusing on the NOW and pay attention to the ANYTHING BUT NOW.
Thanks to TAG I identified a key thing that is making me unhappy. My context directly impacts my thinking.
So slowly but surely I am decluttering. Focusing back on what matters. Sorting through paper, through closets, through life.
And the small act of working through clutter is making me happier while I am experiencing hectic overwhelming times. Balance!
~ 6 ~
Ah, balance. One thing is certain – having a puppy is keeping me well and truly balanced. I have to make sure I am at home, following a routine, making sure the “little guy” gets fed, watered and walked.
Felix is growing up fast. He still thinks he is my lap dog, my little puppy.
And he hates it when I am on my phone, checking on the online world. Not being with him 100%.
So if I’m not online as much these days, now you know why. Work. A crazy schedule. Fitting lots into the day. And Felix.
I may not be online as much, but I am in the NOW.
If you want to follow along on my #100happydays project, feel free to friend me on Facebook. I have an album there where I am posting my images. I also have a page for Felix 3spot the Dog. Yes. I have a page for my dog. You can “like” Felix and see his exploits here.